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Inside the
dream
I’m walking the
streets, apparently aimlessly, but my stride is as
purposeful as a hunter’s. I barely glance at the tall
buildings around me, here in this strange city, the beauty
of the autumn day is lost on me, but my eyes skim restlessly
over the people around me. I’m looking for someone or
something but I don’t really know where to start searching
or for what exactly. People are looking at me, especially
men, but I’m used to it and never respond to the admiring
glances. They are just faces, useless, interchangeable,
unable to give me what I need. But this feeling of need,
this craving which started as a small nagging thought inside
me, is continually growing stronger and I can’t get rid of
it anymore. It’s started to influence my comings and goings,
my days and my nights, and so I pace the streets day in and
day out now, helpless to resist the force which is dragging
me along.
Suddenly my
head snaps up and my nostrils flare. I stare into the face
of a middle-aged man and I simply know he’s one of us
although he moves through the crowd like a normal human,
just like me. It’s the first encounter of this sort in this
city since I’ve been here and I must admit that I’m rattled.
I don’t want to talk to him, I have no
desire to meet another Arash. Don’t misunderstand me, but I
simply have to know what he is: a Dark Arash or a Bright
one.
Not that this information would help me, or would it? |
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As he comes
closer I look into his brown eyes, scrutinizing his
unremarkable face and docile expression. Certainly it could
all be a ruse and his Dark Powers could be hidden very well
but I definitely don’t think so. There’s just no spark of
danger, superiority, or even arrogance such as I have
observed in all Dark Arash, and I don’t think it’s any
different here in New York than in London. I’m not quite
sure why I’m so positive that I can detect a Dark one now. I
have been one all my life and never paid special attention
to it. But now it’s become the most important thing for me,
to find one, to connect with him and – maybe – to take from
him.
My heart beats
faster as the man approaches, I can sense him, and I’m
astonished that he doesn’t appear to recognize me for what I
am but seems totally indifferent to me. Now he’s beside me,
I even brush my shoulder against his but all I feel is
emptiness. And disappointment. And moments later a great
rush of rage which courses through my body, red-hot, making
me want to scream. My hands ball into fists and I hurry into
an alley where I’m able to ubilocate undetected.
Back at my apartment I grab the nearest
object, a beautiful black Murano vase, and smash it into a
thousand pieces. In vain, another day was in vain, I didn’t
find anybody. And although I left home to avoid other Arash
I’m obsessed with finding one, not anyone however, but one
who will share his Dark powers with me.
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