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Something is definitely not right. If this is a year ago, why am I living in this flat? Why do I own clothes that I bought just recently? Confused, I crumble a piece of bread while I wait for Natalie at Cecconiís. When the door opens I look up and freeze: thereís Natalie talking to the waiter, but sheís not alone. Clustered around her are Will, Finn andÖ Cassius. Why on earth is he here? Iím expecting to see Rose coming in next, but heís obviously alone. The four of them are talking and laughing as they approach me.

ďLivia, good to see you!Ē Natalie kisses me on both cheeks. Finn does the same, then Will and, no, it canít be! Cassius bends down, his lips are brushing mine. Just as well Iím sitting down, otherwise my legs would have given way. They take their seats around the table, Cassius beside me, putting his arm around me as a matter of course. What the hellís going on?

ďHave you finally decided on giving up your flat and moving in with me again?Ē he asks me, smiling. My mouth drops open. Iíve dreamed about this scene countless times and now itís real. But what about Rose?

The four of them are staring at me, and I realise that Iíve spoken out loud. Natalie looks at me as if I werenít right in the head. ďBut Rose has been gone for ages!Ē she says, shaking her head at me.

   ďLike Eamon?Ē I ask in a small voice.

Will starts to giggle. ďLivia, whatís wrong with you?Ē he guffaws. ďFirst you call Natalie in the middle of the night and now youíre asking questions as if you canít remember the last few weeks!Ē Well, heís right, isnít he? Thatís the problem really, I donít know what has happened. Everything seems to be upside down. I mean, it appears to be perfect. Cassius and I are a couple again, as I always secretly wished. Suddenly I remember Eamonís words: You donít know what youíre doing! I thought I did, but now Iím not so sure anymore.


© Elke Stevens